Ranting to /dev/null

Lethal fruitcake

Last Tuesday I had sinus surgery. Okay. As a result, I've been ordered to "take it easy," which includes not lifting anything heavy. "Heavier than a gallon of milk" was the phrase used by my surgeon. The reason for this is that exertion of any kind tends to raise your blood pressure to accommodate the force your muscles are exerting, and when the inside of your face has just been reamed out with a bone saw, any increase in blood pressure is liable to rupture what scabs are in place.

Fast forward to today. I'm feeling a lot better than I did last week, so when mom told me to unwrap a fruitcake brought by my aunt and put it on a plate, I didn't think anything of it.

Turns out the fruitcake was the heaviest thing I've lifted in a week. It also turns out that my surgeon wasn't kidding. I promptly started bleeding from my nose, and though I managed to avoid getting blood on anything, I was banned from the kitchen forthwith.

I don't even like fruitcake.